well being, looking for okay

So much of our well being day to day can depend on our family members;
if they're happy, we're happy.
Life can feel easy and relaxed when all is well.

But bring in some teenage angst,
and the mantra 'this too shall pass',
becomes just a bit harder to swallow!

You realize one day that happy, relaxed and just plain okay
has been lost along the way.
And it's place has been taken by
the worrier,
the negotiator,
the lets not leave this alone until it's sorted person,
the decider,
the explainer,
the are we going in the right direction now?
the I think this all depends on me to make this happen person,

and while we're at it,
how about sorting out x,y and z etc,
so we can all breathe out and just quietly move along in the direction we were going in,
(whichever that was!)

and then you realize that your doing that 'thing' again,
you know the thing where you try and get someone to change,
or at least in the way that you want them to,
and then it stops being about them and more about what you want,
and I'm sure I could remember what that was if only everything was nicely sorted!

and just lately this blog reader extraordinaire has become much more resident gardener,
and I swear it helps.
I go out and chop and tame the garden instead.
And if you could see this garden you would laugh and exclaim,
 that it is impossible to tame a wild garden like this really,
but I do try!

But I am sure that if you can become an okay teenager, 
that I can become an okay Mum,
actually I'm sure it works both ways
(there's a thought......!)

So I shall practise that,
just that,
being okay.

I shall do simple things,
here and there,
and just for a short while I shall just be okay.
It won't all depend me,
I will trust in his life and how it works itself out.
I shall be okay and even a few happy moments now and again,
and perhaps a few laughs and smiles and a bit of fun
might pop by.

It will be okay.
And I'm sure looking back it will become clear
 that this too did indeed pass 
and okay will rule again.

where do you find yourself okay?
is it in the simple things?



  1. I agree wholeheartedly with you Heather that I'm only 'ok' when my family is 'ok'. Wow, what you wrote resonates with me! The simple thigs really do matter, we all need a break now and then. Hugs x

  2. You know something Heather, it's ok just to be okay! I agree with you on the gardening stuff....it really is therapy, don't you think! :) x

  3. Dear Heather, it IS okay - right here and now - just rest in it! Do you see those pretty coloured balloons up there, coasting around above you - then release those troubles and let the balloons gather them up and float away with them!
    These youngsters just have to test their boundaries - it seems like it never stops - but it's so difficult for us to sit back and allow things to happen - to allow them the time and experiences to learn, for we want everything to be right for them NOW!
    You are a normal caring loving Mum Heather and it WILL be alright and your teenager will wake up and be so very grateful to you!
    Yes the simple things are such a blessing - I send love your way. Joy x

    1. thank you that's lovely, the ballons are a nice thought! . it's true we do want everything to be right for them now and it is hard to watch them go through whatever it is happening for them. x

  4. With you on this one Heather - being outside in the garden brings me perspective on things, certainly. Claire xo

  5. What a cute little garden sign! :) Hope you have a wonderful weekend! xo Holly

  6. I am on my second teenager experience. It is so much easier this time round because I can see it for what it is, a phase. If I had realised that previously, things might have been a lot easier for me and someone very dear to my heart and of whom I am extremely proud.

  7. Sometimes it's good just to aim for ok, because ok is way better than not ok. Sending hugs and reassurance that this will get better. x

  8. I am so loving my garden at the moment and I hope that somehow it grounds you and gives you strength. Sending you warm hugs and wishes for a lovely weekend xo

  9. Hope you really are okay ... Bee xx

  10. I am grateful today because my teenager offered to make me lunch since I wasn't feeling well. Glimmers of hope for maturity :)

  11. Oh dear, I've just become the mother of a teenager ... maybe my garden will, too, get that attention to detail it needs!! Breathe deeply, Heather. xx

  12. very thought-provoking post Heather

  13. I understand what you are saying. I feel like the eternal peace maker in our house, standing guard against cross words, hurt feelings and general emotional upheaval( teenage daughter!!) I am slowly coming to realise that I can not fix, mend or make right everything like I did when she was a tot but just listen, listen and listen. It is sooo hard to let go of the role of being every thing to every one, but I said when she was born, she was mine to look after for a while, not keep, so me ( and my garden) work hard to keep the balance right/ok. That's just fine ... and I hope you are too.

  14. Ah, Heather, I don't yet have teens but I think that, in all likelihood, it WILL be ok, and it WILL pass. It just doesn't feel like that at the moment.

    I take huge comfort in gardening. I was out there for 3 hours yesterday (I got sunburnt shoulders and everything) and it was tonic for the body and soul. x

  15. Heather you speak what plays on mind on a daily basis, I constantly worry if everyone is okay and end up feeling deflated and like I have failed if others aren't okay. The Simple things in life really are the greatest, a long walk, foraging for beautiful or interesting finds, spending time with family & friends and for me a simple cup of blackberry & nettle tea sat in my garden watching the birds feed and the flowers bloom and listening to the laughter of my children x

  16. With 4 kids I know what you mean...

  17. Hi Heather,Being OK is absolutely OK!!!I think most of us are always just OK!!! Very few people are always ecstatically happy!!!(I certainly don't know anybody!) My kids are both in their 20's now and at times I also wondered if we were ever going to be OK!!!And we are!!! We are sooo OK!!!Wonderfully OK,actually!!!Time is a wonderful thing!!!And gardening is such a great therapeutic means of getting to be OK!!!Nature has a way of healing and it brings an inner peace as well!!!Sounds cheesy I know, But it's true!!!It's very hard to allow them to make their own mistakes but that is how both you and your child grow and this experience will bring you closer and never saying 'I told you so!' is positive growth!!!Hope you have a happy sunshine weekend in your garden!!!

  18. such great advice here, thank you! x

  19. I am so with you and as I walk with my teens I am glad to be past that. Much peace and wisdom to you (I'll have some too) and simple things help the rhythm of life stroll on. I love your last post, totally my kind of medicine xxxxxx