this year was....

This is the impossible tree. As you can see it's a beautiful leaning tree I pass on my walk on the common. At it's base you might be able to see that it's also hollow, and sometimes if you catch it at the right angle you can see a heart shape made by the hollow. Sometimes people leave little gifts in there like feathers or stones. I still don't know which tree it is. Actually I'm thinking it really is like the tree of life, because of it's fantastic shape and branches. I love seeing it on this cold frosty morning against the blue sky.

Now, I'm not going to call this year, impossible. It's actually a year that has been made very possible at a time when I couldn't see how we were going to move out of the position we were in. The word I chose for this year was commit. I think I imagined or hoped that I was simply going to make all the things happen I wanted. Just by committing to it.

What actually happened this year is I found out what it feels like for people to be committed to us and our situation. How beautiful and I just didn't see that one coming.

Never underestimate just how much support you are going to need parenting teenagers. You just can't do it alone, especially if things get rocky. You have to call on all your resources and sometimes find some new ones. We have both had mentors this year, people who have absolutely and constantly given up their time to help work things out.

I'm also beginning to notice that there is a stage that comes before commit, and that is intention. Intention helps to set the cogs in motion and no doubt sends out a message to the universe that you are wanting to do something, so that the little synchronocities and solutions can fall in place. I have really felt this during this months december reflections.

So this year we have been extraordinarily shown what commit feels like. Together with caring and acceptance and the time to explore our stories. I am so grateful for this time.

There's been a lot of walking on the common as you can see! and a pretty huge amount of de-cluttering and letting go has been going on too of late. I'm starting to feel excited about what next year may bring. Creativity and productivity is definitely going to be part of it! I'm beginning to imagine a future where I may be in a different place, living in a different way. It may all not happen over night, but it's exciting to imagine new possibilities. Keep things flowing.

Thank you for reading.



  1. That tree is both haunting and beautiful at the same time Heather. I share your excitement for the new year that beckons. I hope you reach your 'new place' in health and happiness. Merry Christmas x

  2. Special love coming your way for 2015 x

  3. Aaah the blessed teenager, the hardest stage of life for some. It does pass eventually and if you can be patient you may get thanks or even apologies when they reach maturity (my friends daughter apologised when she was 35!).
    I truly hope the next year will be better for all of us parents of troubled teens. My two boys gave me not a jot of trouble, but my daughter, well that's another story! (5 years counselling/mentoring etc and she's only 17).
    If I don't see you before, have a good Christmas.

  4. I know that tree on the common and I've seen gifts and flowers that have been placed in it. I've never noticed the heart shape though so I will look out for that. If you ever want to meet up for a coffee or a dog walk let me know. I know all about the trials and tribulations of teenage sons and bringing them up single handed! I seem to have lost momentum with my December reflections as the last few days have been very busy. Take care. X

  5. So much beauty in one post. Teenagers can be quite tricky and so far the journey with ours hasn't been too difficult, but I do appreciate how hard it can be.

    Take care and Merry Christmas. Xx

  6. ….. After reading a post of yours, I always stop and ponder…. thank you for that !
    xxxxxx Ale

  7. Ah, the joy of parenting teenagers! I try to step back but still see them as my babies but with challenging attitudes and a foreign language. Making mistakes that they will learn from (hopefully) and knowing that I will be there to dust them down (after having a shouting match with them first - after all, they will hurt the ones they love the most). Have a wonderful Christmas xx

  8. What a lovely, thoughtful post, Heather. A friend of mine once said to me that someone should warn you before you have children that you will wear your heart on your sleeve for the rest of your life. Truer words were never spoken. It can be very rough raising teens, and for some mysterious reason some are more difficult than others.

    Have a very Merry Christmas, and a creative and productive New Year!