Today I was thinking about a friendship that for lack of a better word, I 'blew' up last year. Probably 25 years worth, here and there. I think I couldn't bear to watch this friend live out a choice she was making, a resigned one that seemed to come from a place of no action, or energy. And I guess I choose a subject which I knew would act as a trigger, to that end. I think I may have hoped that a new energy might somehow rise from that fire, there is a chance I may never know.
Yesterday I found and read this article 'from destruction comes creation'. I wanted to share it here. It's very well written. I can see the different phases at work in my life all at once. I like the line, 'and we sit on a fence and try to decide how not to destroy it. We bargain with god or ourselves and try to figure out how to glue it back together'. Don't we just.
And the question, 'when was it complete? and how long have you been trying to breath life into it?' we do know don't we, there are points when we recognize it's over.
Then to look for a new glimmer or spark to hold on to as you go through the destruction phase. That's so good. And the idea of giving the energy back to the universe in it's raw form to become your next creation. Clever.
I think there are phases to letting that happen though. They might involve learning new things, research, building up strength. Pausing, but still facing forwards. And yes perhaps acknowledgment that phase of life is over and change will have to happen. Unless you want to keep feeling like a cardboard cut out, who no longer wants to be doing what your doing.
I need to breath in a new direction. I'm looking for glimmers and sparks to see me through.
I found Aimee Eoff, through a podcast interview with Christine Mason Miller. I'll let you know a few podcasts I am listening to soon. I'm enjoying them.
Have a good weekend.