acknowledgement

Just recently I have toyed with the idea of removing the google members counter. Why?.... well I started to feel dissillusioned with the whole thing. I realize, I refer to this as a deciding factor in how well things are going here, in this space. And though it is fun to watch the numbers go up, the downside of that is it can be somewhat of a downer when nothing much changes.

So, I realize what I am looking for is acknowledgement;  for this space, for being here, for myself as a person, for my okayness, for who I am. And I've fallen into the habit of looking for it out there! All good when life seems to be affirming us, not so good when someone lost in a mass of upset and projections is telling us how really not good we are!

So instead of finding that voice myself, it's easy to fall into the habit of looking outside of ourselves. Looking at numbers is the nature of the blogging game. But is it a game? and does it have to be? I mean how many blogs can we really follow and enjoy and feel connected with. How much is sustainable really? or do we spread ourselves so thin and become so much outside of ourselves, so saturated, that we lose sight of who we are? Surely that's more important. In order to be able to give out, we need to be able to feed ourselves. We have to put our oxygen masks on first.

I have received so much inspiration from out there, and for this I am really thankful. It's important to me, and it's what makes me tick in this creative life. I think at some point we have to start working out what's important to us. What are those needs, and how can we meet those needs ourselves? Is a number counter important?.......maybe it is!

but it can be frustrating! it's like watching a kettle boil!...... I don't want to feel resentful..... I want to feel free and creative, like I'm working towards the things I want to happen in life. So that things like numbers don't matter, oh and it seems I do possibly want to feel acknowledged........! It's a paradox really.

It goes quite deep, doesn't it, this need. It's been there all along, bumping along beside me through the ups and downs. Needs are like that aren't they? they don't go away. We can't rationalize ourselves out of them. Even though we might try. So the point is, is it ever enough, to try to meet that need from outside of ourselves? does it ever really work? or do we need to regularly tell ourselves this message: -  

.....I know I do!....... In fact I think I might stick it on my computer screen!!

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I have a give-away winner and it's Daisy from lazy daisy jones! So thank you all for entering and being part of what happens here. I will be popping some of these hearts in my shop soon.

Enjoy the summer days. I have struggled a bit during the really hot weather. This cooler day today is a welcome relief for me! Brain's working again!!

Heather

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