Monday, 22 December 2014

fragrant


A calm and fragrant moment this morning. I kicked my heels in and spent a slow morning just pottering. I tipped some cinnamen and orange oil on my candle wax. They were the most christmassey oils I could find in my collection. I pulled a Goddess Oracle card, from my long forgotten pack. I knew any of the cards would have a message for me, but I was pleased to discover it was Ix Chel, goddess of creativity.

I think we can creatively imagine our lives. Choose to focus on where we are moving towards, how it would feel and be. I must confess, today I have struggled a bit with this. And chosen to focus on how it has been and what I don't want. It feels kind of acute. Maybe it's necessary. I don't want to fixate on impossible things, because I don't think it's helpful. I'm considering making some kind of mood board over the holidays. Just for everything, because it feels like it needs to be for everything!

I'm finding these daily posts really helpful. It's almost like a mediation. It keeps bringing me back to myself. I'm kind of checking back in. Helpful for letting the strong impressions of the day dissolve back into nothing. Just letting it pass. A breathing out.


The very lovely wool felt art snowman card was made by my friend Lucy, you can see more of her artwork here.

Sunday, 21 December 2014

friendship


A heart warming tale for the Winter Solstice. This is my little dog. She is a Jack Russell Terrier, nine years old. Very adored, a little bit nervous and kind of spoilt.

Last nights tale. She is rather fond of sleeping under the duvet, under anything really. Any piece of clothing put down or left astray and she will find it. Do her funny little turn around dance and lie on it or under it.

Last night in the middle of the night she jumped up onto the foot of the bed and commando style wriggled up under the covers. Except this time she had managed to actually climb inside the duvet cover. I don't know how! She had made her way to the top of the cover but couldn't get out. A very baffled dog.....she didn't think to go backwards.

In the meantime I'm trying to stay asleep, but know what's happened, because somehow it's happened before. Of course then I had to fling back the quilt, open up the duvet and pull this little dog out. Because that's what friends are for!

Happy solstice everyone!


Saturday, 20 December 2014

this year was....



This is the impossible tree. As you can see it's a beautiful leaning tree I pass on my walk on the common. At it's base you might be able to see that it's also hollow, and sometimes if you catch it at the right angle you can see a heart shape made by the hollow. Sometimes people leave little gifts in there like feathers or stones. I still don't know which tree it is. Actually I'm thinking it really is like the tree of life, because of it's fantastic shape and branches. I love seeing it on this cold frosty morning against the blue sky.

Now, I'm not going to call this year, impossible. It's actually a year that has been made very possible at a time when I couldn't see how we were going to move out of the position we were in. The word I chose for this year was commit. I think I imagined or hoped that I was simply going to make all the things happen I wanted. Just by committing to it.

What actually happened this year is I found out what it feels like for people to be committed to us and our situation. How beautiful and I just didn't see that one coming.

Never underestimate just how much support you are going to need parenting teenagers. You just can't do it alone, especially if things get rocky. You have to call on all your resources and sometimes find some new ones. We have both had mentors this year, people who have absolutely and constantly given up their time to help work things out.

I'm also beginning to notice that there is a stage that comes before commit, and that is intention. Intention helps to set the cogs in motion and no doubt sends out a message to the universe that you are wanting to do something, so that the little synchronocities and solutions can fall in place. I have really felt this during this months december reflections.

So this year we have been extraordinarily shown what commit feels like. Together with caring and acceptance and the time to explore our stories. I am so grateful for this time.

There's been a lot of walking on the common as you can see! and a pretty huge amount of de-cluttering and letting go has been going on too of late. I'm starting to feel excited about what next year may bring. Creativity and productivity is definitely going to be part of it! I'm beginning to imagine a future where I may be in a different place, living in a different way. It may all not happen over night, but it's exciting to imagine new possibilities. Keep things flowing.

Thank you for reading.

♥  

Friday, 19 December 2014

delicious



You know sometimes you can resist and resist something until you come around in a big loop. Okay so this may be the blog of the red berries. And yes I have said it before, the Hawthorne berries are gorgeous this year. So red and so many of them. Christmas decorations for the birds on the top of the windy common. And look, a little strand of silver tinsel, the first decoration I spied on the dog-walkers christmas tree! Can't wait to show you the whole thing in it's splendour.

Delicious!

Thursday, 18 December 2014

15 years ago


Little mister had really blond hair, which you can't see here! This was taken on his first birthday, and he looks a bit worried.

In me I see a mixture of relief and empowerment, because I've just done the one thing I had needed to do, which was to become a single-parent. From somewhere had come the extra energy needed to make the break. But I can see in my eyes, a lot of strain and difficult circumstances and that I'm just trying to get through the event.

Facing the past is hard. We can't go back there and do it differently. I'm not even sure I would advocate doing this if it's possible not to. Difficulties certainly didn't end there. But in the end we know ourselves what we need to do. The call to be on home ground and feel safe and cared for and loved was stronger than anything in the end.

These memories have left me with a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, and a curious feeling of wanting to barrel on forwards. Make things happen, draw some energy from the past in a positive way. We can go on to new life.

A difficult but timely prompt as it turned out.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

triangles

Altair Design Book
Just a short post today to say does anyone remember these? I spent a lot of happy hours in the seventies colouring in these designs. Just quiet and contemplative, just what I think I need today. You can see more images here.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

on the table


I might have had something clever to say at some point. Forgive this post for any lack. It's past my bedtime now. My cards and parcels are ready to send tomorrow and I'm mighty pleased about that.

I've been thinking about my last post about christmas cards and letting go. What I realize is it's me that needs to be revitalized. Me that needs a fresh approach and some new ideas. It's me that's doing the same old same old.

I guess in some cases I was getting ready to jump before I pushed. I have to put myself out there and risk rejection. If that is the case at least I know I'm clearing the decks for something new. I decided to send all my cards one more time and included a small printed note saying that next year I was thinking about doing something different. Whether that be an on-line christmas robin, e-mails, or e-cards. I explained I would give some money to charity instead, there would be less for re-cycling and less spending on stamps! I asked people to let me know their e-mail or suggested they connect with me on facebook.

I'm totally expecting not to hear from some people and I think my list will definitely become smaller.
The main thing is these connections could be enlivened. The possibility is there. People won't just drop of my list and wonder why.

I love making my little handmade cards. I think there will always be room for some of these. They are nice to give out to people I see everyday, neighbours, local friends. A few treasured friends I know love getting them. That's it. We'll see how next year goes. Thanks to Chel, for her idea about this in the comments.
♥