I can only think of one obviously stripey thing that I have, my teapot. This is my Sidmouth teapot, it's red and white coastal stripes remind me of one of my favourite places in the world to be. I admire it while I wash up. I always forget to use it. But it looks nice on the shelf. I'm wondering if there is a cafe named the Sidmouth teapot? I think there should be. I'm wondering how it is that another year has gone by without me visiting this quaint seaside town where my Mum used to live. I need to remedy that next year. I don't want to lose my connection with Sidmouth, and my second home feeling.
Last night was the night of christmas card making and Pearl Harbour watching. Followed by a late night christmas card list wobble. It was an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like there are people on my list who it now feels quite static with. I'm not sure how I feel about that, or what to do about it. I have been doing so much clearing and cleaning out and as I look through my list of people I can't help but feel like this is also an extension of that. To keep or to let go and perhaps make room for new connections or to try and revitalize some existing ones.
What I am finally realizing is this. People I have been calling family, that there has been no live connection with for a few years are really relatives. Not family. This is different. It's taken years to work that one out. Family can also be friends. Friends can also be family. Step-family which I call family, but are no longer on the radar at all, as the connecting person is sadly departed are not family, they are actually past. Sad but true. I don't want to take away the past, which had it's good moments. But they are not part of the now. So if there is so much less family than I actually thought, there are indeed some vacancies! and I think it's okay to acknowledge that and not keep that space full with family that isn't.
So how do we keep our christmas card list feeling vital and alive, and a reflection of the people who are really in our lives? I think this year I was scared to face this list because I knew it was going to change and I was going to have to acknowledge this. I can't keep doing the same old same old. That's not living, it's not actually even fun, and I want to send my christmas cards out with a burst of fun, knowing they will spark some joy in a place that we both feel is alive.
♥
