18.12.14

15 years ago


Little mister had really blond hair, which you can't see here! This was taken on his first birthday, and he looks a bit worried.

In me I see a mixture of relief and empowerment, because I've just done the one thing I had needed to do, which was to become a single-parent. From somewhere had come the extra energy needed to make the break. But I can see in my eyes, a lot of strain and difficult circumstances and that I'm just trying to get through the event.

Facing the past is hard. We can't go back there and do it differently. I'm not even sure I would advocate doing this if it's possible not to. Difficulties certainly didn't end there. But in the end we know ourselves what we need to do. The call to be on home ground and feel safe and cared for and loved was stronger than anything in the end.

These memories have left me with a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, and a curious feeling of wanting to barrel on forwards. Make things happen, draw some energy from the past in a positive way. We can go on to new life.

A difficult but timely prompt as it turned out.

7 comments:

  1. May 2015 be a year of acceptance,love and peace x

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  2. I see a face of a brave and proud woman!
    xxxxx Ale

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  3. you are a strong beautiful woman thats what i see with the wonderful heart of a mother...being a single mother has always come with the sense that one has failed, but ive never let anyone make that judgement... being a single parent means you are a father and mother and a bit of a tough cookie and stronger than anything thrown at you. When my sophia was a baby and her father left me for another woman i remember thinking 'oh no what will people think of me now im a single mother'... but i remember telling myself 'you can be the bestest mother that child ever had, never look back and surge forward'...it was tough, a lot of sadness in me but i never let it show... and when i look back 8 years on i realise i made it through all that and instead of feeling a negative i feel a real high five to myself for making it through and loving every minute of that special time with just me and my girl. be proud of yourself lovely one~ us single mothers are super woman ~ i think youre amazing!! xx

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    1. Thanks Kazzy, really we are all super women, and I know our challenges come in different shapes and form. I can only really know my own story. Maybe as my son is sixteen now I am getting ready to let label slide away a bit more now. Let it become part of the story, but not the only defining thing. I want try and open up to more now. What ever that might be! X

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  4. Reading through some of your post.you wright very eloquently, a gift. Thanks h

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  5. What a beautiful photo! And I agree with previous commenters: beautifully written!
    xhaafner

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  6. The decision to become a single parent comes unknowingly to everyone, but to stand your ground and draw power from that decision proves that you are indeed an amazing woman. It's incredible how you managed to appeal a positive perspective. You're truly an inspiration, Heather! Thanks for sharing that! I wish you all the best! :)

    Carlos Strey @ The Bridge Across

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