Little mister had really blond hair, which you can't see here! This was taken on his first birthday, and he looks a bit worried.
In me I see a mixture of relief and empowerment, because I've just done the one thing I had needed to do, which was to become a single-parent. From somewhere had come the extra energy needed to make the break. But I can see in my eyes, a lot of strain and difficult circumstances and that I'm just trying to get through the event.
Facing the past is hard. We can't go back there and do it differently. I'm not even sure I would advocate doing this if it's possible not to. Difficulties certainly didn't end there. But in the end we know ourselves what we need to do. The call to be on home ground and feel safe and cared for and loved was stronger than anything in the end.
These memories have left me with a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, and a curious feeling of wanting to barrel on forwards. Make things happen, draw some energy from the past in a positive way. We can go on to new life.
A difficult but timely prompt as it turned out.
♥
