finding my way through january

I have been feeling a bit cold and quite a lot sensitive. My head really feels strange. I've been wearing my very warm insulated Peruvian hat, like my head needs protecting! I'm not ready to emerge yet. I'm still in my retreated January space. I keep thinking I might be getting a cold, but haven't. I even felt a bit adverse to being on-line, like I needed to draw back into myself some more. I've made a little boundary between me and the world. I can wave, but I can't connect just now.

I am finding a new strength in that quiet place. Inside that boundary the new impulse for growth and life is quietly being nurtured. Just slowly. Sensitivity may be my middle name. Sometimes I wonder why it's there so much. Well I know where it came from. But what does it want from me now? What's it trying to say? I think it wants me to listen. I often try and barge on ahead anyway. Sensitivity squashed back down. Ignored. I think it has quite a lot of important things to tell me, and if I could just listen more, I probably would find myself creating easier situations that don't need to shout quite so loudly to be heard....!

So yes a sensitive January it seems. Perhaps it's a good time of year to notice this. Some things can make it worse I think. Noise, intensity of different kinds. I'm ready to blame the wi-fi quite indiscriminately. Who knows about that really? I am reading Brene Brown's The gift of imperfection. I am quietly opening up to her ideas about owning our own story and being 'good enough'. If you haven't watched her TEDx talk on The power of vulnerability it's definitely worth watching.

I am still stretching and doing crafy/shop things. I've fallen into a rythym where there is more emphasis on one than the other each day, a kind of taking in turns. But they are both still there. Today I need to stretch, I can feel that. Yesterday was a day of photos and editing. It's been so hard with the light.

'winter white' by my little red suitcase
This is my new 'winter white' cushion. I love it here with the light from the window, but the light casts a shadow. So I can't use the photo in my shop. I need to experiment with holding a white board and reflecting the light back. It's all a learning process, and I am actually enjoying it. Thank goodness for the new camera!

So near the end of January and we need little glimmers of warmth now. Small hopeful jollies of sunshine and friendly faces and yes that will include human interaction too. Here's looking forward to that.


  1. Such a thoughtful post, Heather. Thanks for the links to the Ted talk and the book by Brene Brown. I plan to check them out later today.

  2. "Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” So glad you are chosing to show up today. I love your pillow, even with its shadow. Hope you have a wonderful week, Heather. xx

  3. I'm really feeling the cold at the moment, my whole body seems on edge when I venture out....I'm looking forward to the warmer temperatures. Love your cushion :) xxx

  4. Hey Heather,
    The cushion is gorgeous. And your post today was very thought provoking. And yes find strength in that quiet place. There is healing there.
    Leanne xx

  5. Beautiful cushion and wonderfully honest words, I'm struggling with January my body seems to lack the energy to function at the moment, I'm yet to recover from all that comes with Christmas
    Clare x

  6. I think January is a funny part of the year its neither here nor there really its a low time for many me included I always suffer with the winter blues I thought it had escaped me this year but no the past few days its hit me to and I feel like retreating yesterday I left my phone up stair for the afternoon and did some of my cross stitch making a point to myself and I actually felt a lot calmer :-) My phone pings to tell me if theres been an email etc and it can rather take over. This afternoon I will be doing the same :-) I hope you start to feel brighter again really soon next week we will be in February and have noticed the days are getting lighter at night a sure sign that Spring is on its way :-) I love your cushion its beautiful and so fresh with the white against the different colours. Enjoy the rest of your week, dee x

  7. I love Brene Brown's talks. I don't know if you have see another of hers, but it changed my life for me. It is all about who you let in your arena and how you handle them. You can find it in the link I have added. I am not promoting her or anything, I found this through knitsofacto some time ago and often turn to it and have a listen. I hope you find it useful. xx http://vimeo.com/78769611

  8. It's good to take time away from the interwebs, I do it often... I adore your cushion. Roll on February! :)

  9. A little winter hibernation can be good for a person ... go with the flow these cold, dark days, that's what I'd do x

  10. I loved reading this reflection of your life and feelings right now. I want yo add tgat you might consider being a writer because you express feelings well through the written word. Have you ever considered writing a book?
    Have a wonderful weekend my friend,