I've finally managed to put our family rules on the board. Only five! I have found a new chalk board specially and I'm planning on them staying up and slowly working their way into our lives (subliminally if nothing else!). As I mentioned before, I have been taking the Teen triple p parenting course, which stands for Positive Parenting Programme, at our local youth club.
These are our rules: Be Kind, first and best rule. Clear up, towels, clothes, cups and plates! Be reliable, (meet on time, keep to agreed switch off times). Make positive contributions, (say hello, say goodbye, say goodnight, smile etc!). Safe space, fight fairly, no name calling etc!
We each made our own rules up and the idea is is that you call a family meeting to announce and discuss them, and then follow a process of encouraging family members to stick to them by working out some kind of reward and penalty system. I haven't quite got that far yet! Some of us are so laughingly far from this ideal that it's ridiculous, but it's a framework to work towards. They have been some surprising steps forward as well. There have been short film clips to watch, tips shared and role play. I so loved being the teenager who wouldn't listen to anything the adult said! and I really got into the part!
Mainly, it's been about noticing and monitoring certain behaviours, and it becomes clear that there are times and places and activities, when it's not such a good time to ask, suggest, tell things. Therefore looking for more opportune times to do this and also trying to create more positive opportunities. But it's not easy. There has also been a good section on dealing with risky behaviour and how to risk assess a situation, preferably with the teenager and not necessarily by banning the activity or event, but finding a way to allow it to happen safely and within certain boundaries. It's all good stuff.
I have been on a little jaunt. I recently took myself off to the tree arbortorium at Westonbirt near Tetbury in Gloucestershire. The Japanese Maple trees were just stunning. I had a lovely wander around. Absconding on two social events to come here instead. It left me wondering if I do in fact prefer trees to people, and whether it will always be like that. I'm hoping I will find my social mojo again eventually! Today I even had a little thought of a pop up shop at home before christmas where I would invite the neighbours and local folks. That would be giant strides.
and I am finally wearing my mustard cowl, made last November. It was really easy to make and a straight forward pattern. I found this mustard hat in a little vintage shop and this also has been waiting to be worn. It's a little odd, the top which seems to be faded, but perhaps looks a little dip-dyed has taken some time to get used to. Anyway I'm very happy with it now.
I am almost there on the blanket making. I am joining now and then the border to go, it's getting very exciting. I darned in the ends before I joined. I know it was such a swotty thing to do! I just couldn't face having to do it after the good bit. Next time I will do each square as I make them. Anyway I forced myself to do it. Bargained with myself half way, then continued, then counted it down in fractions (home-schooling myself!) and finally it was done. Phew. Now just the good bit. I will show you soon.
There have been some happy little soapy hearts left by one of our hardy cabin folks by the little sink in the WC. Aren't they sweet? of course I had to swipe them and photograph them. I would love to be able to make soaps and potions. They would make sweet gifts. One day!
Hope you are all good,
life is a journey,
and sometimes really challenging weather conditions fared by some.